Creating a Balance : a rare Skill

You must have seen those little deprived kids who often show adventurous games for entertainment on the road in order to fill up their stomachs. Among those games , one most common is balancing on a Rope tied to two wooden poles. Watching it with wonder , we find the Act of Balancing is most difficult among all acts. It requires great skills. Sometimes I feel a 'skill' is what all you all need to live a happy life.

Lets talk straight now. I feel compelled to talk about FB fever. It almost sounds maddening and frightening to see how many people are addicted to it. And how many people have swore to leave it and even when they have left , they have come back (like myself). Its shameful. Have we lost control over ourselves?

But why need control? FB , like net surfing is not something Bad. We don't need to say Good-bye to FB , every time we feel we have excessed our limits and become addicted. I suppose , best way to deal with it is to create Balance between your Duties , Personal Life and other Interests. 




Since the day , I have known Internet I am in love with it. Its an amazing discovery. I call often it 'my second life'. It has Google , Stumble Upon , Wikipedia , Facebook , Online Newspapers , E books and so on and so forth. I don't know how I would have passed my exams without the help of internet. But come on , what is this crap , whenever I log in to Facebook , I forget all the other things Net can provide me. I forget all my other interests. So what I do now a days is - Two days I sit on FB , other five days I plan to discover new things on net. For instance , yesterday I searched about Hebrides Island and I got to know about the music festival it organizes. Today morning I read a beautiful mythical story about love - http://reclaimingthedarkgoddess.blogspot.com/2011/04/anemoneswind-flower.html#comment-form

Creativity and Curiosity are the roots of our life. Don't let them die of want of nutrients which they need. Create Balance in your life , give time to your interests (and if you dont know what interests you , take an online aptitude test , this might help you). FB is not bad , nothing is bad in fact if you take it , use it in proper amount. So I hope from now even if you are planning , you wont say - Good Bye to FB , rather say - See You after Sometime. :)

Keep Smiling !!
Keep Exploring !!

Dreams can solve our problems

Deirdre Leigh Barrett, professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School, offered the following tips -- known as "incubation" instructions -- for people who want to use their dreams to solve problems and increase their creativity:

Psychologists have developed incubation rituals to encourage problem-solving dreams. These usually target interpersonal and emotional problems, but they are also relevant to objective creative tasks. Incubation instructions usually include:

1) Write down the problem as a brief phrase of a sentence and place this by the bed.

2) Review the problem for a few minutes just before going to bed.

3) Once in bed, visualize the problem as concrete image if it lends itself to this.

4) Tell yourself you want to dream about the problem just as you is drifting off to sleep.

5) Keep a pen and paper -- perhaps also a flashlight or pen with a lit tip -- on the night table.

6) Upon awakening, lie quietly before getting out of bed. Note whether there is any trace of a recalled dream and invite more of the dream to return if possible. Write it down.

Sometimes the incubation also involves:

7) At bedtime, visualize yourself dreaming about the problem, awakening, and writing on the bedside note pad.

8) Arrange objects connected to the problem on the night table or on the wall across from bed if they lend themselves to a poster

[Its a part of an article. Its Source is  : http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/inside-inception-christopher-nolans-dream-world-exist-real/story?id=11174201&page=3 ]

The American Scholar : Emerson's thoughts on who is a true Scholar

After sixty years of Independence , America was still under the influence of Europe. She had nothing of herself – no culture , no identity. Ralph Waldo Emerson was perhaps the first one in the country’s history to provide a philosophical framework vision to give America its own identity. He delivered a speech before Cambridge’s Phi Beta Kappa Society , an honorary society of male college students who scored unusually high grade point averages. The speech was called later – The American Scholar.

(Scholar here means a man who is a university of knowledge. Who believes that he is inspired by a Divine Soul which also inspires all men. Who learns from three things – Nature , ‘the mind of past’ ie. Literature , arts or alike and Action )

Below are the few quotations from the speech –

1. Books are for the scholar’s idle times. When he can read God directly , the hour is too precious to be wasted in other men’s transcripts of their reading.   (On the use of books)
2. The true scholar grudges every opportunity of action pass by , as a loss of power. (Action is important for all as well as for a scholar)
3. Life is our dictionary.
4. Man hopes ; genius creates.
5. The one thing in the world of value , is the active soul.
6. The office of the scholar is to cheer , to raise and to guide men by showing them facts amidst appearances. (The duty of a scholar)
7. In Self trust , all the virtues are comprehended.
8. The near explains the far. The drop is a small ocean.
9. This time , like all times , is a very good one , if we but know what to do with it.

Notes - These were the Emerson's thoughts on Who is a true scholar. Its not only about American people. Its universal and can be applied to all. This lecture was delivered after sixty years of Independence of America and it was a call to American people who were under the influence of European culture to create their own distinct culture and identity. India is also in its sixties and I hope she will soon recover her own rich tradition before it gets too late.

Women - Wake Up !

Don't be a woman who needs a man, Be a woman whom man needs.

Recently I  came across a blog, ‘http://iamwoman-mxtodis123.blogspot.com/’ which helped me to find few answers which I had been seeking from a long time.. Its not that, I didn’t get answers , I got but they were not able to convince me . But the blog is the answer to my several questions.

From one of her posts ,” Leaving an abusive husband: My story” -

‘I discovered that, when you build up your own confidence, and exude a sense of pride in yourself, you open yourself up to a different type of man.  Love, real love, had finally entered my life.’

 (Though this was a case of an abusive husband. Mine was different & there could be other reasons which makes a woman lose her self worth). Her these words have done something to my conscious, subconscious & unconscious mind. They just keep on echoing in my ears. This is seriously a time to act & restore my lost self esteem,to love myself, to respect myself. to make myself more aware relations in general rather than sinking in the past & asking the same questions over &  over again,” why didn’t I get my dream man?, why am I not able to keep myself happy?, what is the thing that I feel constantly missing?, why am I not able to love myself & capable of believing that I am adorable?” Etc etc …..The answers lie somewhere in finding my own self worth & self esteem that’s what I felt while reading her blog….

From her another post ‘Characteristics of victims’

• We are desperate for love and approval and will do anything to make people like us. Not wanting to hurt others, we remain "loyal" in situations and relationships even when evidence indicates our loyalty is undeserved. (I would say not wanting to lose them, having an extremely hard time "letting go.")

• We are intimidated by angry people and personal criticism. This causes us to feel inadequate and insecure. (I would say it further adds to our feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.)

• We continue to attract emotionally unavailable people with addictive personalities.

• We live life as victims, blaming others for our circumstances, and are attracted to other victims (and people with power) as friends and lovers. We confuse love with pity and tend to "love" people we can pity and rescue. (And we confuse love with need)

We are dependent personalities who are so terrified of rejection or abandonment that we tend to stay in situations or relationships that are harmful to us. Our fears and dependency stop us form ending unfulfilling relationships and prevent us from entering into fulfilling ones. (I would add because we feel so unlovable it is difficult or impossible to believe anyone can really love us, and won't eventually leave us once they see how "bad" we are.)

I am trying to figure out how to contribute to this woman’s efforts to create awareness about women sufferings. Long way to go, but have to begin from somewhere. I hope this blog will be of great help for all women sufferer & will be able to make themselves realize of their worth…. I request everyone to contribute to her effort….

A poem composed by me for all the woman out there who are suffering & lacking self esteem…….

They say, You're beautiful. 

You're beautiful, it's true.

But the belief has to come,

From within you !

No matter what the

World say to you

Hold this belief

Tight within you !

You are an angel

With a pretty smile

Fill yourself with self esteem

& walk an extra mile!

------written &  shared by lilywhite.

Silence

Many of us have realized in the last few days that silence can be enjoyable. We realize that there are many things that we do not have to say, and that then we can reserve the time and energy to do other things that can help us to look more deeply into ourselves and things around us.

If you are pushed by your habit energy to say something, don't say it. Instead, take a notebook and write it down. A day or two later, read what you wrote, and you might find out that it would have been an awful thing to say. So slowly you become master of yourself, and you know what to say and what not to say.

I remember one time I proposed to a sister that she practice silence. She was an elder nun and she had a few negative seeds in her that prevented her from being happy. She was just a little bit too hard on the other sisters. I proposed to her that she was a very talented person, very skillful in many things, and she could make many people happy if only she knew how to be silent and to say only things that needed to be said.

I proposed to her that she use only three sentences for three months. She could repeat these three sentences as many times as she wanted(laughter) and I told her that if she practiced that for a week, she would feel happiness right away. The first sentence was, "Dear sister,is there anything I can do to help you?" (laughter) The second sentence was, "Did you like what I did to help you?" The third was, "Would you have any suggestion that I can do it better?" (laughter) If she could say that, she would make many people happy and the happiness would go back to herself very quickly.

In the family we can practice silence. We can ask the other members of the family to agree that we will practice silence for three days or for a week. It is very beneficial. There will be a transformation after the period of practicing silence.

Thich Nhat Hanh

{ Shared through Gopal's blog - http://gorakhh.blogspot.com/ } 

Just Believe

I tried to sleep but I was low again. I woke up and entered into my second world (internet) :) And as soon as I opened facebook I gotta read Paulo Coelho's article. It saved me. As it says  , Miracle happens - Just believe. - Here the article is -

In Lewis Carroll’s famous masterpiece “Alice through the Looking Glass,” there is a dialogue between the main character and the Queen, who has just told something quite extraordinary.

- I can’t believe it – says Alice.

- Can’t believe it? – the Queen repeats with a sad look on her face. – Try again: take a deep breath, close your eyes, and believe.

Alice laughs:

- It’s no good trying. Only fools believe that impossible things can happen.

- I think what you need is a little training – answers the Queen. – When I was your age I would practice at least half an hour a day, right after breakfast, I tried very hard to imagine five or six unbelievable things that could cross my path, and today I see that most of the things I imagined have turned real, I even became a Queen because of that.

Life constantly asks us: “believe!” Believing that a miracle can happen at any moment is necessary not only for our happiness but also for our protection, or to justify our existence. In today’s world, many people think it is impossible to put an end to misery, to build a fair society, and to alleviate the religious tension that seems to grow worse every day.

Most people avoid the struggle for a whole variety of reasons: conformism, maturity, the sense of the ridiculous, the feeling of impotence. We see injustice being done to our neighbor and remain silent. “I’m not getting involved in fights for nothing” is the explanation.

This is a cowardly attitude. Whoever travels down a spiritual path carries an honor code to be fulfilled; the voice that is raised against what is wrong is always heard by God.

the blog link - http://paulocoelhoblog.com/

Man is not made for Defeat : The Old Man and the Sea

We all have dreams. We all feel at one moment that we can't achieve them and we might be defeated if we begin. But - 

“But man is not made for defeat.” …

So , the old man , Santiago says. He believes - 

“A man can be destroyed but not defeated.”

Santiago , the Old Man , is as grand in his hopes as any man can be. I have no right words for him nor for the great novella of Hemmingway - The Old Man and the Sea , they are beyond any petty description. But I can not feel content without expressing either.  I have never read anything like this before. So simple , so natural , so true and so grand. It is a story of an old  fisherman ,  who is called by everyone unlucky as he couldn’t catch any fish for eighty-four days but he is resolute and he believes he will catch a big fish and finally he does. But cruel fate ! it intervenes his luck and destroys it . But certainly Old man is not defeated . His belief wins. He fights and fights more till his last hope is left and then … oh I must not reveal everything. The rest you shall find yourself.

Well , on one hand we have pessimists and those who believe man is all evil or in fact he is nothing . On the other hand , we have characters like Santiago who enjoys the notion that man is not made for defeat but he has reasons and if not reasons than beliefs. He says – “It is silly not to hope.” The Old man is poor and perhaps uneducated . That is why , I think his monologues are so innocent. In one such monologue he talks about sin –

“ Perhaps it was sin to kill the fish. … But then everything is a sin. Do not think about the sin . It is much too late for that and there are people who are paid to do it.”

Isn’t it everyman’s conflict? And like with every unthinkable ordinary man , the conflict is unresolved. Just after it in the next paragraph he talks about another interesting conflict which reminds me of Othello –

“You did not kill the fish only to keep alive and to sell for food , he thought. You killed him for pride and because you are a fisherman. You loved him when he was alive and you loved him after. If you love him , it is not a sin to kill him. Or is it more?”   

Othello loved Desdemona and killed her not because he hated her but because he loved her too much . And he killed her because he wanted to save her from eternal damnation as he thought she had gone on wrong path. Well , in the case of Santiago , see again , the conflict is unresolved ….

The novella is all full of hopes , all light and all glory. So powerful is the hope and belief of Santiago that he reminds me of Browning , who says – God is in his Heaven , and all is well with the world. Santiago says with no less hope –

“I have no luck anymore. But who knows? Maybe today. Everyday is a new day.”

How innocent and full of simplicity the lines are . Optimistic sentences are like Glucon-D they give instant energy. Due to this energy Santiago could survive all odds on the sea till three days. But its all about Santiago , how can we forget the boy , Manolin? The boy who believes Old man’s wildest dreams , who cares for him , who provides for him and who is always eager to learn from him perhaps because he is the only one who recognizes the strength of Old man . Their relation is very sweet . But it is strange also as the character of Old man himself. He knows this very well as he says – 

“ I am a strange old man.”

Santiago is indeed a strange old man who fights to keep his sanity in the most tough period of his struggle. But his strangeness is positive. His hopes save him. His resolution wins. The story’s universality lies in the fact that we are also on the verge of madness and more because our generation is Anti – Heroic and Lost one . Depression , frustration , suicidal attempts are so common today that I fear ten Santiagos will be less to infuse hope in us. But still we can look upto him and find some solace. He gives us a mantra , a very easy one , we can try it and say to us when anything Negative comes in our head –

Keep your head clear.

Look at the sentence – this ‘keep” here suggests you must constantly try and never leave hope. Just try to keep your sanity even though there are many struggles and conflicts even though they are not resolved even though you are destroyed but remember you can  never be defeated. Man is not made for defeat …

(Somyaa Mehta shared this article which was long back written by her on her blog -  http://prosepot.blogspot.com/2010/10/story-of-undefeated-man-old-man-and-sea.html#comments

)

Just Believe - coz Believing is Experiencing!

Keep Smiling!